#57

February 27th 2015 

Hi! Today it's been a long day. I went to  school and I had to test during the first two periods, then when I came back from school I took some rest and then I went to the basketball game in my school with my family. 

It was fun and my little sister was performing with other girls in the middle of the gym. After their performance they left but my dad was staying to finish to see the game so I stayed with him. 

We won twice I think. (there were two games and and I left at half of the second game so I don't know the final score).

Back home again I had to prepare something because tomorrow I'm going to the winter formal of my friend's school. 

I'll go tomorrow to his house and I hope to have fun! 

After I finished to prepare myself  I start to make Skype with a friend. 

It's all week that we are doing it and I don't know, this is my answer. 

I don't know what to think and I don't want to feel stupid. 

Goodnight :)

#55-56

February 25th 2015

Hi! This morning at school I was sleepwalking because I was too tired. 

After school I went to the gym again and then I went back home. 

During the day I thought about the things that I will miss here: my family, my friends, the school....everything. 

February 26th 2015 

Hi! Yesterday I couldn't finish the post so I'm posting it today with another one. 

Continuing the speech of yesterday I think that I will miss a lot of people here and a lot of things like: 

-walk in the hallway and use looker 

-say hi to the teacher in the hallway  and say "what's up" to friends randomly

- go to the gym in the school with all the students 

-sleep in class (actually I never did it but I have to do it)

-take the school bus in the morning and don't see the same faces in class all day 

-go to Starbucks when I want or eat Chipotle

-I'll probably miss american pizza ones a while

-I'll miss watch the game in the couch with my family

-don't go to school on Saturday, 

-I'll miss people that tell me that they like/love my accent or people that think I'm really smart and other nice things. 

I have to be onest, before came here I thought to have  a completely different experience, being here I didn't found what they promess me but I found something better. I changed I'm a completely different person and I couldn't be it without this challenge.  

#54

February 24th 2015 

Hi! This morning the school was 2 hours late so I had more time for study for the test. 

I was too tired today that I "promess" myself to go to bed earlier, but it's passed midnight and I'm still awake. 

When I went home after the gym I took a shower, as always, and I started to look at my pictures on Facebook. 

I remember every moment and I miss it. I don't look back hoping to have that moment back, I'm looking at that happy moment hoping to have more moments like that. 

Every summer, when I see my friends and we have more time to stay together, I have more fun; the next summer will be more fun than the last one, and it's like this every year. 

Just like eating a cake. I love cakes. 

I made tiramisù last weekend so I bring it today to school to let my friend try it. She was really scared before try the little tiny bite on her spoon. But she liked it a lot so we finished it in class. 

Yes I should go to bed now. Good night and good morning. 

#53

February 23rd 2015

Hi! The last two night I fall asleep while I was typing, I'm so terrible, so today I hope not to do it. 

Today it's Monday so I went to school and then to the gym and back home again. 

I always see couple around the school and outside but I never imagine me like that. It's kind of weird but I don't understand why. 

If a guy tells me that he likes me I start to avoid him and I get scared. I know why but I want to go on. 

But now I feel like almost ready for be  one of the couple here. This doesn't mean that I will. Ok now I'm lost and I don't what I'm saying. It's late and at this time I'm suppose to sleep but today I made skype with a friend and we stayed hours on it. 

I like this thing that you can use Skype also with friends who lives close to you, like him. 

Too tired, good night!

#52

February 22nd 2015

Hi! Yesterday I didn't finish the post but I posted the few things that I wrote down. 

Last night I didn't sleep, I couldn't sleep. 

Instead of finish the post I stayed up talking with my friend until 4:40am. I was supposed to go to sleep on the bed but I decided to stay on the floor with him so we could finished to talk  and I didn't want to wake her up but then I fell asleep. 

The blanket was so thin that I felt cold all night and the floor didn't help. 

I didn't dream, I'm sure about that, and I didn't sleep; it's possible that I close my eyes maybe for 10-15 minutes it's the longest time and now I'm really tired. 

After came back home I was too lazy to do anything so I didn't do my homework, I only prepared my stuff for school and that after a movie I went to bed. 

#51

February 21st 2015

Hi! Today I went to the meeting with the other exchange students and I'm staying the night. Right now they are all trying to go to bed but, even if I'm really tired, I have to write a post. 

We watched movies tonight on Netflix   and one movie was an horror movie. I don't like horror movies, I never liked it, the only horror movies that I can see are "scary movie" 's movies because they are funny. 

Then we watch an "American pie: the book of life" and start to see "The interview", I already saw both movies and I think they are both stupid, the first it's funny so it's better, the second one is really really stupid, no offense. 

#50

February 20th 2015

Hi! Today I didn't do much, I cooked for tomorrow's dinner with the other exchange students, and At the same time I was making Skype with my mom. I let her stay up all night but I really wanted to see her. 

 I cooked my favorite Italian cake and a lot of vegetables, so I won't feel guilty if I'll eat too much cake. 

Just kidding! 

I really can't wait for tomorrow! I'm going to have some fun with the other exchange students, and eat, expecially eat. 

Because it's all about food! 

I don't know what's wrong with me here but I'm eating a lot of chocolate! A lot of sweet things, I've been eating things I never ate at home because it's not healthy and here I don't care; but on the other end I go to the gym and workout so I don't feel completely bad when I eat junk food. 

Sometimes I just eat because I don't have nothing better to do, sometimes just because I have food by me it sometimes because something is eating. 

Relationship with food!

#48-49

February 18th 2015

Hi!  today it's been a long day also because I'm getting sick. Everybody at school is sick so I think that I have been infected. 

Tomorrow I have school off so this means more sleep and go to bed late, that I'm doing, and this is why I'm so tired. 

I saw a episode of scandal the show and my computer didn't download the next one so I get mad a little bit, I'm too tired now to watch it. 

February 19th 2015 

Hi! Yesterday I fell asleep while I was writing. I was sick, I'm sick. 

I don't have fever or anything, I have headache and the influence. 

Today I didn't do much, I slept most of the time, then I did homework and then I went downstairs watching Tv with my parents and I ate some yogurt. 

Tomorrow I don't have school again but I can't sleep all morning this time because I have to cook for the dinner with the other exchange students. 

I'm excited because I can't wait to see them all and I always have fun with them. 

The best experiences you can have in another country are with other exchange students. 

Being an exchange student is forever, it's not only for this year, I'm an exchange student and this will never change. 

I remember this quote my friend text me: "You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the place you pay the richness of loving and knowing people I'm more than one place".

That's true because staying here I'm living another life, but the only thing doesn't change it's me. I'm seeing other people, I'm loving other people and going back home I'm leaving a part of me here. Experiences, that's all about. 

I'm going to bed now. Good night and good morning. 

#47

February 17th 2015 

Hi! With today it's been 6 months in Ohio and it was a day like others.

I went to school, than I stayed there in the gym, ate dinner and then looked TV on the couch. 

I will miss my routine I know but sometimes I feel that something is missing. 

Sometimes I think about something and a start to laugh alone and then I laugh I'm vary loud. 

Everybody does that and the world it's a better place when people laugh. 

I'm to tired to go on tonight. 

Good night and good morning. 

#46

February 16th 2015

Hi! Today it's my dad's birthday, my "host-dad", and we had a dinner party at home with the family. 

I like here, my family is awesome and I feel lucky for this. 

Tomorrow it will be 6 months in Ohio and 6 months it's a lot of time, it's half of year. 

I have one life to live and this experience is the first big one of many experiences that are waiting for me around the world. 

This is probably how I can find my place but like this I can't call any places home. 

Home's wherever you don't rather be anywhere else or better home's wherever you don't think of being in another place. 

Sometimes I think that I'm not made for live with someone or for stay in the same place for the rest of my life, but I still want to be loved and to have strong relationships.

I'm weird I know but that's what I feel. Everybody it's a little bit weird inside. 

Without changes the life is boring and you don't enjoy everything the world can offer you. 

You are who you are for the challenges you've met during your life, good or bad, everything is been useful for built you. 

Don't lose your time thinking about change something of your past because you'll wrest your present and lose chances you can only have ones in your life. 

Life is beautiful, enjoy it. 

#45

February 15th 2015

Hi! Today I had breakfast in my house with part of my dad's family, and me and my friend took out the cake we made for my parents' birthday the night before. 

The cake had a heath shape and two different tastes: chocolate and Lemon; it was covered with chocolate and sparkles, I also wrote "HAPPY B-DAY" on it and after the paper that I had to put for protection, it was weird. 

All day with my friend I look for dresses on Internet and clothes in general. The goal was to find a dress for the winter formal of my closer friend here who is bringing me as his date. 

I bought my dress today and I life it a lot, I bought it in Asos, where I always buy stuff. So if you need to buy something go to Asos has a good website and I always trust it. 

Then I spent some time trying to fix my computer but it didn't work. 

I was suppose to go to a lock in my school but one of my friends was sick and the other one cancelled at the last moment so I'm staying home.

So instead I thought to watch a movie eating ice cream but I ended sleeping and woke up right now.

I'm so mad because I felt asleep and I couldn't do anything!! 

OK I go so sleep again. 

Good night and good morning. 

#44

February 14th 2015

Hi! Happy valentine's day everybody! 

Today as everyone knows it's valentine's day and since i don't have a boyfriend I still tried to organize something with friends. 

My friend stayed over tonight and I invite another friend to watch a love movie eating unhealthy food. 

When I was whatching movies I saw couples with real relationship and I realized that I can't imagine me like that. I don't see that kind of future for me, also when I see my family here, a beautiful family compose by mom, dad and 4 kids, it's the classic perfect family and I like it a lot, but I don't think that my future will look like this. 

I imagine myself in 5-10 years probably single, studying for the university and without expectations for having a boyfriend and then think at the marriage. 

I don't believe in marriage, probably because my parents devoted when I was 5 and my mom was single since that moment, so I can't see me living  with a only person for the rest of my life. I think that it's weird right now. 

I'm too young now to think about it, maybe one day I will find the right person and I will realize, only looking in his eyes, that I can't live without him and all the romantic and dramatic things we watch in movies.

I don't even know how can someone bear me for so long. 

I just thought about this quote from the Tv show "Scandal", I think it will resume what I mean to say:

Olivia: You love her, she loves you. Normal people get married.
Stephen: You won't even date.
Olivia: I'm not normal.

Good night and good morning! 

#43

February 13th 2015

Hi! Today is the day before valentine's day and this is my 18 valentine's day that I'm single. 

I have something planned with a friend and she's staying over all the weekend. Tomorrow we will do some groceries shopping for make some cake with the kids and to eat it later and the next morning. 

Today I slept until 12:00 in the morning and then I went to the mall with some friends. I bought some presents and something for me. 

Then my friend came to my house and we watched two movies and now that I'm writing this post she's sleeping by me and I should wake her up because it's time to go to bed.

I don't care anymore for valentine's day, for me it's a day like another, and even if you don't have a date I can still celebrate it by myself or with friends! 

Today I also made skype with a friend in Italy and we stayed on for more then 2 hours, we talked a lot about everything, it was fun! 

Another thing before close this post: tomorrow it's olso 1 mouth that I'm vegeterian! 

Good night and good morning!

#42

February 13th 2015

Hi! Today was another day! 

Another crazy day because something weird happened: I want up this morning and it was late, so I got ready as quick as I could. I went downstairs and I made coffee. 

When it was time to take the bus I went out and after two minutes my dad came out and he said: "what are you doing?"

I look at the time and I realized that I woke up one hour before I should. 

I walked home laughing and I waited the bus on the couch whatching video on YouTube on my iPad. 

Today was the last day of school before valentine's day because we have 4 days of breaks this weekend. 

Today for a moment I felt good when a guy said to another one that I was probably stronger then this other guy, he said that my arm it's 3 times his arm and it's I workout every day and I'm really good at it. 

I was surprised because when you do something that you really like with passion people notice it. I saw it also because other girls are joining me at the gym and they follow what I do. 

After school I went home and I took a really quick shower and I went with my family to my grampa house for dinner. 

Back home me and mom watched scandal the Tv show on Netflix. I hope she liked it because it's one of my favorite show. 

Was a really good day today. 

Good night and good morning. 

#41

February 11th 2015 

Hi! Let's start saying that today was a good day, I'm starting to get use to my new lifestyle but I only have 4 more months and it's not enough. 

I don't know what was going on but the day was quite slow, how can I explained it, I felt like I had enough time to do stuff. This is really important to me because I never have time to finish things. 

I feel organize, and I feel like I have space; and I'm starting from the  inside: I'm taking my place in the world and I'm organizing myself showing who I am for who I really am and I'm not anymore trying to please the others. 

I'm not putting the other over me, if someone need something but it's not the same for me, I'm trying to compromise, choosing something that it's ok for both or respecting everyone,I choose me. 

It took me thousands of dollars and to live in a completely different continent, and most important, learning a different language. 

But I made it. 

Someone can say: "Good job! Do you want a cookie! You understand what you want, it's not difficult!". 

We are not all the same and for someone it's difficult or impossible to understand what he/she wants and people can live the rest of their life without knowing what they want from their life. Maybe one of this guys  wakes up one day realizing that his job wasn't the one he wanted to do or he realized they never loved the person he's married with. 

I don't want to be one of those guys. 

So I'm taking this months to be by myself and to do what I want to. 

#40

February 10th 2015

Hi! I don't have much to say since my days are all the same: school in the morning, stay at school for workout, come back home, take a shower, eat dinner, finish homework, write the blog and go to sleep! 

This is my every day routine!

I was thinking now that I don't have time to think to something with a right sense so I don't have nothing to say. Ultimately I asked myself multiple times in which language I think?! Sometimes I don't even know in which language I'm talking!

And in which language I dream?! 

In almost six months that in here I remember a few dreams but I don't remember the language and now I don't even remember them. 

Changing completely speech after 6 months I never found a date. I don't want it but I see my friend a school that came few days after me in the school and she dated three guys in the school, now she's dating the third one. 

I remember one day I was out with a friend in Italy, it was right after school, we sat on a bench and he told me, he was joking I like to think, that nobody will ask me to go to the dance with him. Thar nobody will like me...

So he was always right even if he was joking, but it's still his fault!! 

I'm enjoying being single and I never did it like I do now and I'm finally happy. I'm taking about this just because today I saw her with her boyfriend and I thought: "ans  I'm still single"

Here relationship between teenagers are long, longer that I never knew possible, I have friends at school that are together in one, two, three, four, five years and even more and in like: "my longest relationship was a month". 

I feel like I'm late  but I still have time, but we think that we have all the life in front of us. But this time it's ok to wait. 

#39

February 9th 2015 

Hi! Today I  had to do an English progect about Mine Harker, a character of dracula. I love dracula and i would like to see the movie. 

I really want to see 50 shades of gray at the movie theater with friends but I  don't know the limit age for seeing it. This week, since it's Monday, I will stay at school after the lessons are finished for workout with some friends from school. 

I'm so tired that my eyes are keeping closing while I'm typing. I hope tomorrow to stay more in the post and to dedicate more time and I hope not to fall asleep instead of finish the blog, so it's time to close for today. Good night/morning. 

#38

February 8th 2015

Hi! The passed two days it's been Skype time! This means that I passed all the time on Skype with my friends back in Italy. 

And I stayed home with my friend all weekend. We watched movie on Netflix both nights. 

Then today I stayed all day in pyjamas and tonight, before lay in bad, I did my homework and pack my lunch. 

I'm the meantime a girl text me on Facebook. She said that she's an exchange student in Ohio too and that she leaves close to me. I suggest a meeting soon. She's Italian and more precise from Milan. 

I don't know what to expect from this but when we were texting about ours experiences I could know that she has the same problems of me. 

We understood each other perfectly and I can't wait to talk to her again. 

It's time to go to bad now. Good night. 

#37

February 6th 2015 

Hi! Today was Friday and I'm starting to love Fridays. It's late and today it's been a long day: I went to school, back home I started Skype with my friend, then my girl-friend exchange student here came in my house and she spent the night and I was still "skyping", or better, doing Skype with my friend. 

When my friend was here, we watch a movie, two movies actually, eating chips, chocolate and oreos. 

While I was waiting tv, eating unhealthy food, I was still doing Skype, then I heard familiar voices from the iPad, I asked who was there and two of my closer friends just came into his house. 

 I realized that last year, 365 days ago, at this time I was buying with them a birthday present for him, and a cake. We were late and he was really mad but as soon as we were there with the cake and the present he was happy to see us. 

I miss that day. 

Today they were there without me and this broke me inside, I was almost crying. 

I missing so many things that are going on back home and I feel like outside a bell jar, I looking inside and I see all the life that is going on without me. The image is so clear in my mind. 

Last year I thought about this scenery but that time I was inside. I couldn't see throw the glass but I knew that something better for me was outside waiting and the only thing that I could see was the clear blue sky. I didn't know what to expect but I decided that one day I would go through the  open window on the top of the bell and to go up there was a cord that I could use, this was the only way. 

This for me represent the life; you never like what you have around you, so you think that if you go out to see the world you will find a better situation but you don't know how the world is like out there; but to go true that possibility to "escape" and to go that  you have to work hard and to push yourself over your ability. 

This can be apply on everything and you can always find, the secret is to find the happiness in what you have around so you can open the bell and live your unlimited world. 

#36

February 5th 2015

Hi! I know what I have to say today and I don't know if I can do it. 

OK let's start. 

Last year I finally decided to do this exchange experience and after I signed up I took a test, where I had to draw three different pictures, I didn't pass. 

They said that I wasn't ready because of the my  drawings showed something. 

We didn't have time and I wasn't  good at drawing the faces so I left it last and I couldn't finish. I was surrounded by good drawers so when I had to draw the tree I tried to cover it. 

I'm happy that I didn't pass because with that company I couldn't come in America and meet the people that I met here. 

That I changed, and with the new company, I actually had a meeting with a psychologist and she decided that I was ready, and now I'm here. 

When I knew and I was sure what I was leaving for the entire year I decided to say goodbye to my friends meeting them of separate nights. 

I spend the all summer saying goodbye to my friends and it was really sad. 

But I never realized that I was really leaving until the last day when  I put my staff in the car and I hugged my friends, then I can into the car. They were crying, the girls were and the guys were laughing, and when the car passed them I start to cry. 

I was in the car with my mom and my sister and I'd never cried like this in front of them. 

I went to say goodbye to my other friend and we cried together. 

Now she is in England and I'm here. 

It's all unreal until you're living it. 

After dinner, the same night, it was the last dinner with my family, we went to the airport where  I had to leave. 

Other exchange student were there and fortunately I passed three days in New York with some of them so we could talk about ours prospectives. 

Then I was in Cleveland, and just like Coca-Cola' commercial, I came down the stairs of the airport and my American family was there waiting for me. 

I'll never forget how hard it is to say goodbye, to look at your life knowing that you're not living again for a long time. 

#35

February 4th 2015

Hi! I'm really trying to go to be early but it's impossible. Today and yesterday I started after school in the back gym for workout with a friend. Yesterday before working out she told me that she was a little bit scared to do it with me because she heard rumors that it's really hard to follow me. 

When she said that I start to laugh. 

I used to do cardio in the first semester, and sometimes we could word out in the back gym, so I really liked it and people start to do it with me, I was like a personal trainer for them and it was fun. 

I like to work out, I think that it's not because of I want to lose weight, that it's actually true but if it was for that I would stop eating cookies, chocolate, chips and other unhealthy stuff; it's because of I spend time taking care of myself, I spending time on me. 

I don't need motivation, I'm the one who motivate the others. 

However today I wanted to talk about something else but I ended talking about working out. 

Tomorrow I've intention to wake me up at the right time and  tonight I forgot to pack my lunch; another thing that I will do tomorrow morning . Now I will say what I wanted to talk about today.

I was doing my homework, reading Dracula, which I love, and my attention was focused on my ring that I have in my left hand, on the middle finger and I had like a flashback when on August 13th 2014 in Italy I was laying on the floor in my friend's bedroom with her. 

We were crying hugging each others then she looked at me and she gave me her ring, I looked at my hand as I was looking for something to give her, so I gave her mine ring.  

It's a moment that I'll never forget. 

I will explain better Tomorrow. 

#34

February 3rd 2015 

Hi! I've been listening "not in the way" by Sam Smith all day. I love that song so much that it's stuck I'm my head. I love his voice and the emotions in the song, the lyrics...everything. 

"you'd say 

 I'm sorry 

 belive me 

 I love you 

 but not in that way" 

It's so poetic. 

It makes me think of a lot of things, sometimes we love someone but he or she doesn't have the same feelings and it's a terrible experience; but it's the life. 

Now I remembered that one time happended to me, more than ones, so I started to love someone after I knew that he or she (she if I'm talking about a friendship) loved me back. 

It's a complicated method but it worked for me. But I also have to consider that I don't take the first guy who likes me whoever he his. 

If someone shows some feeling and I think that I could like him back, I try to show it. 

I was talking before about love and I was using it with he or she. 

Love is everything and nothing, the world "love" ,for me,can be used in every case: I love my best friend, I  love my dog, I love my mom, I love some hobby, I love this TV show, I love my boyfriend (or girlfriend), I love food. 

When you use "love",  you're hoping that the relationship will never end but in everything, good or bad, there is the end, and sometimes the end is "Till death do us part" ( no, I'm not talking about marriage). 

So for now I decided to love myself, people always say that to accept other people love you have to love yourself first, and I think that it's true. 

#33

February 2nd 2015

Hi! It's almost midnight and tomorrow I have school. 

Today I want to my friend house with other friends because she's leaving in two days. 

She's an Italian exchange student too  and she decided to spend 5 months here. 

I don't know her from the begging of this experience but I feel like it's been a long time, so it was sad today when we said goodbye to each other. 

For me it was easier than the others because I'll see her during  this summer; and I can't wait to organize something with all the exchange student to meet somewhere in Italy.

I don't think that we are really realizing what's changing in our lives ,like I'm not realizing that she's leaving, that I can't text her to do something during the weekend. 

When you meet people during a travel you don't stay in contact with them because it's something that you lose. It happened to me so many times, but I stayed with these people for less than two weeks and the only relationship that we have now it's a Facebook friendship. 

This time is different because we're spending a really long time with people who have your same goals, the same problems, the same situations and they become part of your life, part of an album of memories that you decided to build by yourself. 

This means that these people are your family for a year, and a memory for the rest of your life. 

Thank you for be part of this. 

#31-32