Hi! Today it's been a fun and sad day, both at the same time because today I had my goodbye party and probably I saw some of my friends for the last time and I met some new.
We had fun, I guess, but I'll miss them and I don't know if I'll see them another day since I'm leaving next Friday, one week from now!
I don't want to think about it now.
And I'll miss my family a lot! The kids and my parents!
I know I'll cry on the plain when I'll go back home and I know I'll do it before too, maybe right now.
It's been a good experience and the fact that it's going to end soon makes this last days even more special, considering that from this moment everything is the last time. Tomorrow it's my last Saturday in the US (for now), and every day of this next week it'll be my last; but I can also say that next Saturday I'll be back home with my mom and my sister, I'll see my friends again, hug them and feel their love where I'm present. I'll touch them all the time because they won't seem real for me, I'll feel like in a dream. I'll be happy for that moment, but I'll turn sad and depressed when I'll remember my life here and know that I can't have it again.
Today, when after the party I went home, I was cleaning the dishes while I was listening to music on my phone and the song that was playing said: "I don't know why I love you so much" and then I was thinking, maybe for the first time, what is love and how can you love someone and then you can't imagine a life without that person.
OK, yes I know the feeling because I love my mom and my sister but I'm taking about love in a relationship.
I don't know how can you love someone of the same sex or opposite sex who doesn't have any relation with you and you can't live without his person. It's like if I meet a guy tomorrow and I we "fall in love" with each other and we can live without each other. It's not logic (love is not logic or rational I know! That's why I can't understand it), you lived your whole life without this person and now what you met this person your life can't go on without him/her...How?
I don't understand how you have to ask permission to this person for everything or making plans considering what's the other person plans are; or getting mad because this person it's not replaying to your messages the way you want or is not replaying at all...(OK no in this last case I get mad). The craziest thing about relationships is when you say that your partner is yours!!! You don't own a person!
But after all, I'm not a cold person...
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